Tis the Season to be Charitable December 5, 2011

Tis the season to be jolly, and for many people, especially charitable, as well.  It’s unfortunate that such charity seems to peter out during the rest of the year, but there is much to be said for the Christmas “season of giving.”  And because the holidays are a time of thankfulness and abundance (often, extravagance), it reveals to us the stark contrast between the “haves” and the “have nots.”  To bridge that gap in America, all sorts of charitable efforts have been directed toward sharing the Christmas gifting experience with those who have less than we do.  However, I’ve become increasingly disturbed by the focus of the popular charitable giving programs.

 

There are millions of worthy causes in the world today.  As the Broadway song goes, “there will be poor always – pathetically struggling; look at the good things you’ve got!”  In my family, we admittedly struggle to pick which of those causes we will support, since it would be impossible to donate to all of them.  For instance, I love animals, and it breaks my heart knowing that many sweet furry friends are going hungry or being abused.  Though I do make the occasional contribution to an ASPCA or Humane Society, as for regular donations, I personally can’t be convinced that anything animal-related is more important than causes benefiting humans, and even among those, there are some I consider better outreaches than others.  Every family has to choose for itself where to allocate hard-earned money, and I can’t tell anyone what they should do.  Oh, what the heck?  This is my blog, after all.

 

Perhaps this is a “ba-humbug” sentiment, but the Angel Tree?  Pullease!  Every year, our office brings in a bunch of paper angels, each of which has a child’s name, age and Christmas wishlist written on it.  And every year, I’m astonished by the gifts these allegedly “needy” children request.  Let me share an actual sampling (though these aren’t their real names) from this year’s group:  Billy (age 7) – bike with helmet, scooter, mp3 player; Lucy (age 10) – bike with helmet, DS games, learning computer; Jimmy (age 6) – bike with helmet, mp3, baseballs, glove, bat; Andy (age 4) – bike, toy cars, learning computer; Johnny (age 11) – DS games, colognes, watch.  This is the average list, with nearly every child requesting a bike and/or scooter and most asking for techno gadgets of some kind.  There were also a bunch of requests for expensive gaming consoles (Wii, PS3, etc.) and laptop computers.  Now, I’m not saying that I don’t want Billy and Lucy to have nice things, but when half of these kids are asking for video games or computer peripherals, we must assume they also possess the necessary equipment to use them.  In other words, kids who already have a Nintendo DS or a Wii don’t come close to making my list of worthy charities!!  The Angel Tree is just one of many programs designed to give toys and other niceties to children whose parents can’t afford those items, but when the so-called “needy” children are asking for things that I can’t afford for myself, I don’t feel guilty scoffing at the list.

 

I understand the desire to support local charities:  it is perfectly defensible to want to improve lives of those in your own city or state, and in any given region, there is need.  But even America’s worst hardship and poverty pales in comparison to that found in other parts of the world.  If you’re in the mood to be altruistic and you really want to make a difference, try donating to one of the organizations that digs and maintains wells for clean drinking water in Africa, or that provides families with chickens to raise for eggs or cows for milk, or those that pay for job training for young women who would otherwise be sold into prostitution.  And if you still would prefer to give locally, consider charities that substantially change lives and thus, society – get the most bang for your buck.  Look for organizations that hone in on a specific mission, rather than the juggernauts (not mentioning any names) who have too much overhead and too many irons in the fire for them to be truly effective in any area.

 

Here are some causes that are close to my heart, and most of these are tax-deductible, if that matters to you (the Dave Ramsey books are not, but he has awesome deals around Christmas where you can get 10 or more books for $100).

• blood:water mission – www.bloodwatermission.org (building fresh water wells and establishing HIV clinics in Africa)
• World Vision – www.worldvision.org (sponsor a child or send livestock-related gifts internationally for long-term sustenance)
• Samaritan’s Purse – www.samaritanspurse.org (similar to World Vision)
• Peru Mission – www.perumission.org (this one I’ve personally worked with on a short-term mission trip)
• Brookstone School – www.brookstoneschools.org (a local, non-denominational Christian school for inner-city and at-risk children)
• Church missionaries – send monetary support to missionaries from your church; they can always put it to good use
• Total Money Makeover books – www.daveramsey.com (buy copies of Dave Ramsey’s life-changing book and give them to shelters or rescue missions; one of the best ways to help kids in America is by teaching their parents how to manage money)
• JAARS – www.jaars.org (aviation organization providing Bibles and technology to the most dangerous and inaccessible regions of the world)
• Wycliffe – www.wycliffe.net (with more than 6,900 living languages in the world, an estimated 2,000 do not have Old or New Testament translations; this group is changing that)
• Bibles Unbound – www.biblesunbound.com (similar to JAARS, this charity provides scripture to areas of the world which are extremely hostile to the gospel, so much that some of the missions have to be done in great secrecy) 

 

In deciding how best to direct your charitable efforts, ask yourself these two questions:  what are the biggest problems plaguing the world today, and what non-profits are working (most efficiently) to fix them?  If your answer to the first question is malnutrition, disease, lack of proper education, poverty, or the need for Christian salvation, check out my suggestions or do some creative digging on your own.  If you think American children need more video games, please disregard this post and carry on.

A Father’s Love December 1, 2011

A young man with a grave disease learned of a cure one day;

And though the pills would save his life, the price he could not pay.

 

His father plotted secretly to sell all that he owned,

And in about a month or so, he’d lay the money down.

 

But the son, who did not know the plan, relied upon himself.

He robbed the store and killed the clerk for the bottle on the shelf.

 

His father, brokenhearted, asked, “could not you trust in me?

Then that which was your heart’s desire would be yours rightfully.”

 

“But now, neither my gift of love, nor your stolen prize

Can spare you all the pain and grief you’ve brought upon your life.”

 

All of us have aching needs, some cure for which we long;

But try we in our own might, our methods will be wrong.

 

Prayers of desperation may seem to be ignored;

But strength of eagles’ wings is theirs whose hope is in the Lord.

 

We know our Father wants to give us only what is best,

And only through our faith in Him will our lives then be blessed.

 

Never does God’s will involve a sinful act of shame.

What we acquire apart from Him is all acquired in vain.

 

God sacrificed His precious Son – why doubt that He will give

To us each good and perfect gift His children need to live?

 

But we, in anxious, finite minds cannot await God’s hand.

Impatiently, we build our hopes that sink into the sand.

 

Left with bitter, empty hearts, then to heaven we cry;

Wondering how a God who cares could leave us here to die.

 

Our Father sends his sad reply, “could not you trust in Me?

Then that which was your heart’s desire would be yours rightfully.”

 

“Because you did not wait for Me to show to you My plan,

You’ll never know what might have been and can’t go back again.”

 

Christ Jesus paid the highest price for every cure there is.

And all things are made beautiful – not in our time, but His.

 

So when you think you cannot wait for answers from above,

Be still and know that He is God – trust in your Father’s love.

Concert Mayhem November 9, 2011

This blog has no informative content.  Nope, it’s just a rant to get it off my chest.  The topic:  concerts.  I am getting old, and nothing allows my age to slap me in the face more than doing the things I used to do during that phase of life where we all think we are impervious and immortal.  Rock concerts top that list.  I have always loved loud, energetic musical performances.  I never use earplugs, I enjoy head-thrashing and fist-pumping, and I can jump on the balls of my feet for hours on end (although as gravity has its way with my body, I pay increasingly higher penalties the next morning).  My favorite part is when the bass and drum rhythms are so powerful that they seem to dominate my heart and force it to beat in time.  I know, so far, this isn’t a rant at all.  Wait for it.

Beer.  If concerts are the Promised Land, then beer is the “milk and honey” that courses through it as its lifeblood.  Even with the hefty premiums they charge for venue drinking, no one is visibly deterred from purchasing and consuming copious amounts throughout the night.  Beer is a bad band’s best friend (like it is an unattractive person’s at a club), as the more people drink, the better the band sounds – or the less the audience’s ears can discern symphony from cacophony.  It makes for unlikely bedfellows among concert-goers (that’s only partially tongue-and-cheek), uniting the 60 year old grandpa trying to recapture his “glory days,” with the young hipster whose days in the sun have only begun.  It brings life to a lifeless party, and party to a party-less life.  Yes, beer is a magical elixir with many unique properties.  Unfortunately, I can’t stand the stuff.  Soooo, even if I wanted to get loaded for the show (or to become the show, as the case may be), I don’t have many options.  Instead, I get to watch everyone else as they drain cup…after cup…after cup.  This brings us to a dilemma:  do I want to watch the band, or do I want to duck defensively as the drunk boneheads around me begin forgetting that the overly-full container in their hand is not an extension of their uncontrollable, flailing arms?  (Cups with lids, maybe?  Or plastic bottles?  Something?  Please?)  I become distracted (to varying degrees, depending on the musical genre and attendee demographic) by the comical “dancing” and otherwise embarrassing behavior of those around me, which is entertaining at first but by night’s end has me running a mental list of 10+ people who are one bump or catcall away from an arse beating (pardon my British).  Drunk people are only funny if a) they aren’t near enough to disturb you – physically or audibly, or b) you’re also drunk so you don’t notice.  I find that rarely are either of these conditions met.  The conclusion is that, at least at concerts, beer is not my friend.

Last night, I went to the best concert I’ve ever attended.  The opening acts were decent (one quite good), and the headliner played for 3 hours and 10 minutes.  I was moved; I was rocked; I was entranced; and I was standing in a section of people who might as well been waiting in the DMV line.  While I appreciate the “personal space” of having a designated seat, I don’t go to (most) concerts to sit down, and if there are people in the seats on either side of you, well…we’re all familiar with the awkward elbow positioning that ensues.  And if you and your neighbors have different ideas of appropriate concert behavior, it can get downright dangerous.  For example, at the show last night, there was this guy on Pinney’s left who looked exactly like Drew Brees (uncanny resemblance), was flamingly gay – his boyfriend in tow – and was an insanely devoted fan.  As it turns out, he also had the most uncoordinated, spaz-tastic dance moves anyone could imagine (as the world learned from Carson Kressley on Dancing With the Stars, apparently being able to groove like John Travolta is not a prerequisite for being gay).  I had to keep pulling Pinney toward me because I was afraid the guy was going to knock him out with a straying – and ridiculously enthusiastic – air guitar movement, as he was in full performance mode.  Pinney didn’t mind getting out of the way, since he thought the guy was touching his butt on purpose (we’re still unsure about that).  Then we have the folks next to me, who were as utterly lifeless as Gay Brees was wired.  They stood for a while, “Face Timing” every few minutes with their chubby son who apparently needed to see the concert but hadn’t been invited…by his own parents.  There they stood, like bumps on a log, alternating between Face Time and solitaire on their phones, until they finally sat down (the solitaire continued, though).  If I danced, my butt was in the woman’s face; if I jumped, I managed to come down on her foot (which, for the record, was encroaching onto my 4 square inches of floor space); and if on occasion I managed to do neither, she strategically shifted so that the next time, I managed to do both at once.  I finally succumbed to the pressure and stood there with my knees locking up like everyone else.  Best concert ever, and I couldn’t freaking move.  It was awesome, really.

And let me not forget about Bubba and his brother, Junior, who had been intermittently yelling “FOOOOOOOOO” (the band was the Foo Fighters) since before the opening band started playing.  Bubba and Junior were the stereotypical obnoxious rednecks, cutoff t-shirts and all – the kind of white trash that gives all southerners a bad rep.  They were fat, loud and sweaty, and though it must have taken darn near $100 worth of beer a piece, they were drunk off their rockers.  Had there been chicken wings involved, I’d have sworn I was at a NASCAR race.  You know those moments when you are seriously pondering how you can punch someone in the face without having to touch their nasty selves?  Well, maybe you don’t…but you would if you’d seen Bubba and Junior.

The one other issue (not limited to but specially manifested at concerts) is, MY WORD, WHY ARE PEOPLE DRESSING LIKE PROSTITUTES?  Ok, when it’s the pretty young women, it may not seem as objectionable (certainly not to the gawking men), but it should be.  I’m fairly sure most men would be horrified to see their daughter or sister or wife prancing around half nekked, and they ought to keep that in mind before ogling.  So what is the latest fashion?  Apparently, it is cute knee-high boots paired with what I still contend are little more than (slightly) oversized shirts, which little more than (very slightly) cover women’s bums.  Come on, girls!  Don’t be shallow enough to assume that just because you’re pretty and slim, the old “cow and milk” adage doesn’t apply, because it certainly DO.  And on the other end of the spectrum, there are the women who have raided their teenaged daughter’s closet, and obviously they didn’t bother to turn the light on.  Pinney and I never went for longer than 3 minutes at a time without one of us pointing and gasping in horror.  It was reminiscent of a freak show at the circus.  Classy.

The moral of the story is this:  people are gross, drunken people are grosser, and drunk people at a concert?  Exponentially more disgusting.  But I love music more than I detest all of the above, so until I get too old to handle the noise or too violent to stop myself from getting arrested, I will continue to go and put up with the madness.  I did make my mind up last night that regardless of whether Pinney refuses to accompany me into the “GA” area of the venue, from now on I will purchase that ticket for myself anyway.  At my age, it gets more and more difficult to find friends who will put up with the lack of a seat (really, at the majority of shows, that’s the only drawback to the floor tickets) so I may have to go alone.  But when in my life has that ever stopped me from anything?  And that’s my rant.

The Princess and the Pauper November 7, 2011

The lovely princess, graceful and gracious

The old peasant woman, weathered and worn

Stardust swirled with dust of the road

An unlikely friendship, desperately born

From trials and life’s hard lessons

With questions unanswered, hurts unhealed

They, two kindred spirits, from opposite spheres

Were quenched with mercy poured down from Heaven

With pure and unhindered laughter and tears

True beauty where least expected

Timeless and priceless, their time spent together

Divinity alone its depth could sound

Traveling one path, in step and with purpose

Such power but by eternity bound

And loosed upon hell’s dominion

What did a romantic dreamer see

In a tired, bitter peasant with lines on her face?

And how did that zephyr rekindle the flame

Of zeal for warmth which no mortal could trace?

This world will never know

May we wind that path, with laughter and tears

As days become decades and bodies turn frail

May we see neither wrinkles nor slowness of step

Christ’s glory still radiant though earthly eyes fail

My princess, may you love me still

Sanctity Schmanctity October 28, 2011

I’ve never been known to mince words, so I’ll just say it:  the “sanctity of marriage” movement is a joke.  Oh, but I’m a conservative Christian – and conservative Christians must be in favor of preserving marriage as between one man and one woman, right??

 

Right, and for several reasons.  First, I believe the Bible places certain restrictions on the marital union, and since I believe my religion is right to the exclusion of everyone else’s (oh yes I did), I must hold to its teachings and commandments as foundational to right and wrong.  Second, once “marriage” is deemed to include partners of the same gender, the floodgate is opened for every other possible type of relationship (bigamous, incestuous, bestial, etc.) to demand the same privileges; after all, who are we to say who can marry?  And finally, homosexuality just isn’t natural!  Not in a derogatory context, but simply from an anatomical standpoint, men and women were obviously made to “match-up,” while same-sex couples were not (like when you end up with two female ends of Christmas lights – ugh).

 

My problem with the evangelical push for the sanctity, or “sacredness,” of marriage has nothing to do with its condemnation of homosexuality:  in that, (in principle, if not always in practice), I support it 100%.  Unfortunately, there is much more to “holy matrimony” than – pardon my euphemism – making sure the plug fits the outlet!  The Biblical model for marriage (given by God – not the manmade perversions that came later), the Ten Commandments, and the New Testament teachings on the subject, didn’t stop at gender/number rules.  The institution itself was set apart as holy, like the Sabbath of the Lord, but the commandment says “remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.”  Thus, it follows that the rules of marriage need also be obeyed in order for it to remain sacred.  My two major beefs against the Christian evangelical church concerning the holistic “sanctity of marriage” are relatively black and white:  adultery and divorce.  Sticky words, I know.

 

Over the years, I’ve witnessed rampant – often open – infidelity among the members of various churches.  Sadly, this is frequently defended by leadership with blanket excuses such as “but we’re all sinners” or “it’s not our place to judge.”  Touching, but wrong.  While we are indeed all sinful, there is a difference between the occasional sins with which we wrestle, and ongoing, unrepentant sins.  Extra-marital affairs, inappropriate sexuality outside of marriage, and use of pornography fall into the latter category.  Christians who are members of a church have done two major things:  they have professed their faith and desire to adhere to Biblical teaching, and they have identified themselves as part of the Body of Christ.  Any sort of adultery conflicts with both.  If one continues to walk in darkness after vowing to live in the light, 1 John chapter 1 says that person is not really a Christian; and someone who refuses to live a Christian life has no business being a member of the church.  Pastors and other leaders might claim that because these are usually private matters, they can’t get involved.  Wrong again.  Read Hebrews 13:17, which clearly states that pastors and elders will be required to “give account” for the souls in their care.  I’m pretty sure no shepherd wants to explain to God why he allowed adulterous behavior to continue under his nose.  As for judging, people seeking a loophole to either abdicate authority or defend sinful behavior will fall back on this (out-of-context) concept until the end of time.  But dealing with adultery is not one person’s saying “you’re a sinner and I’m perfect;” it’s a fellow Christian saying, “this is against the word of God and it’s harmful to you and the church.”  If you still want to play the “judgment” card, ask yourself how we’re ever to hold one another accountable or maintain spiritual purity within our ranks.  Adultery destroys individual lives, families, and ultimately, the church itself – call it what you will, we are commanded to identify this sin and stamp it out if the church is to survive.

 

The other dirty word – “divorce” – is possibly more prevalent and certainly more often condoned than infidelity.  (I’ve blogged about this topic in depth, if you’re interested.)  Because state laws have deemed divorce legal and allowable, Christians somewhere along the way decided it has become acceptable to God.  This is nonsense.  The Bible does cite two very  specific instances where divorce may be granted without penalty to the innocent spouse, but it is always a tragedy to be avoided at all cost.  Instead, the church has embraced the “last resort” as an early option and has looked for quick justification of divorce as an alternative to the long, personal struggle required to save failing marriages.  In reality, the majority of marriages can and should persevere; what do people think “for better or for worse” really means – a bad hair day?  God hates divorce:  he says so plainly, and anything that God hates, Christians should equally abhor.  Further excepting Biblical “out” clauses, there is no defense for the multitude of marriages that end due to basic disagreements, selfishness or bad choices.  (Note that the church could eliminate far more bitter endings by dealing with adultery, since it is one of the aforementioned “out” clauses and an obvious an enemy of marriage.)  The Bible says that where divorce occurs for reasons other than sexual unfaithfulness or physical abandonment, remarriage itself is tantamount to adultery.  So in many cases, one sin is later compounded by another – but how often do you hear the church railing against that?  Marriage built upon divorce built upon marriage upon divorce – generation after generation…and this is the Bride preparing herself for the Bridegroom?  Seriously?

 

And speaking of improperly casting judgment, the evangelicals on their soapbox over gay marriage are nothing more than sinners with a log in their eye – the epitome of hypocrites.  Churches wonder at the rapid rate of destruction within the body while they continue to accept lifestyles and practices specifically prohibited by God.  I don’t suggest a softened stance on traditional marriage, but the church cannot be a credible ally to that cause when Christian (e.g., heterosexual) adultery and divorce rates match those of the rest of the world.  There are churches and denominations which have recently chosen to abandon the battle against homosexual unions, and the churches still fighting it disdain the ones who have compromised.  “It’s clearly wrong according to Scripture,” they would declare, and they are right.  Churches have begun accepting homosexuality not because they suddenly truly believe it to be moral, but because it is unpopular to tell people they are wrong and much easier to adopt the “live and let live” mantra in a decidedly post-modern culture.  So how are adultery and divorce any more Biblical or less painful to confront than homosexuality?  It comes down to bailing water rather than plugging holes, and water always wins.  The Christian church must be wholly onboard the crusade for the complete “sanctity of marriage,” defending it from all enemies.  Until then, it makes a two-faced fool of itself and of Christ.

Limericks Part II (Sports Edition) September 29, 2011

Songbirds can weather a squall

While Red Sox, when wet, slip and fall

And once skies are clear

The Rays bring no cheer

To the team that they’ve thrown a screwball

 

 

It once was a sport for the tough guys

Who could stand broken noses and black eyes

Now hockey sticks and stones

May break a man’s bones

But call him a name and he cries.

 

 

In Philly it ain’t always sunny

Nor are refs always right on the money

But the calls I find shady

Are the “hits” on Tom Brady

Flags will fly if you look at him funny

Prohibition, Prudence and Pot – Oh My!! August 26, 2011

I’ve been thinking lately about how Christians deal with civil laws.  The New Testament makes it crystal clear that insofar as they do not violate our consciences or scripture, we are to be obedient to them.  (1 Pet. 2:13-17; Rom. 13:1-7).  The main reason for this is to set an example for a watching world, but this isn’t an issue when we are not in “mixed” company.  Christians have the Bible as their first (and only truly necessary) authority, and beyond that, I’m quite opposed to the government’s telling me what I can or can’t do within the privacy of my own home.  Of course, I’m presupposing that Christians don’t leave their faith on the front doorstep, but aside from that, the government isn’t capable of being Big Brother to a whole country (nor could they be an effective moral compass).  Christians sometimes take this submission too far when they refuse to question leaders or laws, or worse – when they stick their heads in the sand concerning all civil authority.  In America, we have the distinct privilege of representation in government, and to remain ignorant of important political issues is paramount to rejecting this blessing from God.  Although we are commanded to submit to civil laws, we are also told to be involved in keeping them on a biblical track!  (1 Tim. 2:1-4).  If you have a voice in whether private Christian prayer becomes a criminal activity, wouldn’t you speak out?  That is an extreme example, but we mustn’t make the mistake of “classifying” political issues as relevant or irrelevant to the life of the Church.  Like it or not, we live in this world, and therefore every issue should taken into consideration.

I was raised in a tee-totaling Baptist family, and I don’t have a problem with that.  What I do (now) disagree with is how my family dealt with issues of alcohol, tobacco, etc.  The Bible tells us that in Christ, everything is lawful, yet not everything is profitable.  It also says that if our consciences are convicted that something is a sin, for us, it is a sin; but be careful not to overlook the key words there:  for us.  Many Christians have somehow “written in” drinking and smoking (even in moderation) as straight-up S-I-N.  Adding to scripture is a deadly thing to do, folks!  While my family never (in my memory) blatantly stated it this way, neither did they explain to me that their abstinence was based on personal choice rather than Biblical mandate.  Thus as a young adult, I was torn between wanting to have the occasional drink and not wanting to look like a “drinker.”  As I grew in grace, I realized that drinking, smoking, etc., are Christian freedoms – that is, we are perfectly free to enjoy them while exercising self-control.  The same can be said for chocolate cake, but while there are no civil laws dealing with the latter (in the works, no doubt), there are laws dealing with alcohol, tobacco, and other various “drugs.”  And here is where I begin to rock the boat.

We have many great friends, and our friends are particularly spectacular in their roles as parents.  Seriously, if these people could give the world a few lessons on how to raise children, our culture would soon be unrecognizable – in a beautiful way.  These are people whose offspring sparkle like diamonds in a pile of ugly rocks, and believe me:  you notice it.  After seeing this kind of finished product, you’d respect their methods even if they told you they used carrots and string.  Wisdom is proven by results (Luke 7:35) and no one should make a habit of questioning it simply because one doesn’t understand it.  Having laid that groundwork, I’ll now tell you that our friends allow their kids to drink and smoke.

 

Intermission [for readers to collect themselves]

 

It did cause us to raise our eyebrows at first, but as I said, everything else about their families reflects wisdom and prudence, so we watched and learned before passing judgment.  Our friends submit to civil authority, and that authority obviously prohibits people under 21 from drinking alcohol.  So how do they reconcile their actions with the law?  They aren’t abdicating their parental responsibility to public schools or leaving their kids to be raised by daycares, nannies and the almighty television:  they do it themselves.  They know their children – their level of maturity and self control – and they have decided to remove the “taboo” from things like alcohol and tobacco, and therefore the kids will never reach the “candy store” point and go buck-wild.  They allow these things only in the privacy of theirs or another believer’s home, and always under their supervision.  Even young children are permitted a small sip from whatever mom or dad is drinking, and surprisingly enough, the world doesn’t end!  The children are still healthy and strong, obedient and wise at early ages, and they still grow up to be the diamonds I described above.  Yes, these parents choose to ignore some civil laws in private, but such laws were created for people who don’t actively raise their kids.

Readers may or may not still be reeling from the shock that Christian parents might actually teach their children self-control instead of expecting the government to regulate it, but I’m not done offending yet.  (To be fair, I haven’t yet dropped this next bombshell on any of my friends so I can’t say how they will react.)  Alcohol and tobacco smoking (mainly pipes or cigars, because cigarettes don’t lend themselves well to “occasional” use) are acceptable in our circles, but what if I were to mention the dirty word “marijuana?”  I suspect that even some of my otherwise “smoke-friendly” companions might cringe in horror, and that would lead me to ask them why.  We’ve established that many “substances” (not all substances – I’m not lobbying for cocaine or heroine use) may be enjoyed in limited amounts without harming the body or creating an addiction.  We’ve also defended the position that within the confines of Biblical authority, Christians have wiggle room concerning what they do or allow while not on display for unbelievers.  Not only has marijuana been proven to have medicinal properties, it calms nerves and brings relaxation – both pleasant effects.  It can be used discriminately just like alcohol or tobacco products, so why all the fuss over its private growth and consumption?  Again, the government has decided for us what we are allowed to possess and use in our own homes, and again, I say they don’t have that right.  Certainly, Christians should respect the laws and the subjects thereof, but we should not rush to call something “bad” merely because civil laws have prohibited it – no more than we would deem anything “good” based on the fact that it isn’t a crime (abortion anyone?).  We respect the laws because we are told to demonstrate submission to a heathen culture; those laws were never meant to define our sense of ultimate right and wrong.  In fact, that fosters a dependence upon our government to inform our morality, and that will always render soft, ill-informed Christians – even if they don’t drink, smoke or chew.

Final disclaimer:  I am not suggesting that anyone go out and plant a “pot” garden or take up smoking joints after dinner.  I am asking that Christians dig a bit deeper in terms of what activities we embrace or shun, and why we do so.  I will also freely admit that if I had access to marijuana (without indefensibly breaking other laws), I would enjoy it from time to time.  The Bible says it’s ok, so who else’s business is it what I do behind closed doors?  Ok, my verbal crucifixion may commence, but don’t hate me for being honest.

Christmas Without Craziness – Step 2 December 8, 2010

Use recycled paper and cards. Wrapping paper and holiday cards are expensive, and rather wasteful both ecologically and economically. Reserve some newspapers throughout the year (the comics especially) and use to wrap presents, attaching other recycled materials for added flair. Ask the children to be creative and make “patchwork” wrapping paper, cutting old magazines and pasting bits together to make larger sheets. (Have a “recycled wrapping” contest for the kids in your extended family: see who can decorate the most unique present using nothing but recycled items!) Old Christmas cards can be cut up and collaged into lovely new designs; corporate cards are usually the sparkliest (yes, that’s a real word ) and many companies will gladly donate them after the season has passed. Also consider sending your cards via email and mailing only to those who do not have the internet. This is truly a “green” solution – for your wallet and the environment!

Christmas Without Craziness – Step 1 December 1, 2010

Shift the focus from receiving to giving. If you are reading this, you have both a computer and internet service and therefore I suspect you’re not living on bread and water. My family is far from rich, but we have all that we need and SO much more that we normally take for granted. Go look around your kids’ bedrooms or playroom, and if you seriously think they are in need of more toys, please proceed with the Christmas madness as usual. If, however, you are shocked and a little ashamed of how much *STUFF* your children have, this is a good time to do something for others who are less fortunate. Children have a natural inclination to make people happy, so facilitate the opportunity for them to experience the joy of giving. Samaritan’s Purse and World Vision have wonderful Christmas catalogs with gifts like livestock, Bibles, medical care and vocational training for impoverished people around the world. Let your kids pick how they want to help and encourage them to think about why it’s important. Or do something community-based. There are many local charities operating in full force around the holidays – find one that directs all donations to needy families in your area. Or better still, just look around! If you can’t find a million ways to share your blessings with those who are struggling, then you’re blind in one eye and can’t see out the other!

One note of warning:  you must embrace this with zeal. Don’t ever try to sell your kids on something that you are only half-heartedly doing. It isn’t fair and it ain’t gonna work.

Christmas Without Craziness – Introduction November 19, 2010

Every year I am surprised by the number of people who dread Christmas and wish they could skip it altogether. What disturbs me is that these aren’t Scrooges who hate kindness and generosity; no, the mass hysteria of the country’s biggest shopping holiday generates in otherwise decent folks overwhelming sensations of chaos, weariness and financial burden. Christmas can’t be enjoyable if it’s a huge hassle, a frantic rush or a spending frenzy that leaves you feeling like you’ve been run over by The Polar Express. I can say whole-heartedly that I love Christmas (trees, lights, movies, music, cookies and pretty much everything else). I’ll bet you can recall a time when you had similar feelings, so it breaks my heart to see Christmas becoming the source of such bitterness and ba-humbug. I’m also fed up with rhetorical “peace on earth” utterances crammed between hectic trips to the local mall. If you are one of these “Christmas Crazies,” don’t bother singing carols or sending cards espousing peace, love or joy – you won’t achieve the attitude by parroting the words. Peace is not a pipe dream, nor is it merely the absence of war; it is an internal state of calm and contentment that can be neither dominated nor diminished by external events. What most people experience between Halloween and New Year’s Day is the exact opposite of peace, and the word loses meaning when used disingenuously. Everyone wishes everyone else peace, but nobody ever seems to find it. This, my friends, is a real tragedy.

In the interest of fairness, I will disclose here that I do not have children. Some readers will now tune me out because they imagine that without their whining rugrats, they too could spend Christmas eve listening to Bing Crosby and sipping spiked eggnog by the fire. Though I will concede that kids are a major factor in merriment meltdown, it is materialism that poses the main threat to Christmas spirit. A serene season is feasible with or without munchkins because true peace is impervious to bribes and begging. I have as many friends and family members as the average American and yet I remain unfazed by the pressures to shop, spend, buy, wrap, stress, give, return and ultimately collapse in a heap pleading with St. Nick for a large bottle of valium and a two-week extension. People can point to lots of reasons the Christmas holidays are for them so vexing, but don’t blame it on the kids, the in-laws or anyone else, because 99% of your pain is self-inflicted. Hey, look at the bright side: 99% OF YOUR PAIN IS SELF-INFLICTED!! That’s right, you brought it upon yourself and only you can make it go away. In terms of commercialism, all Christmas Crazies fall somewhere into the following two categories:

1) You are too kind. For you, it is truly more enjoyable to give than to receive, and your holidays would be empty without the privilege of surprising people with presents. This doesn’t initially sound like a negative, but it can be downright dangerous at Christmastime. You are generous and like to give nice things, not out of compulsion but from a sincere desire to please your family and friends. Perhaps you have a special soft spot when it comes to buying gifts for your children, and no one would begrudge you that joy in moderation. However, your benevolent heart must coordinate with your brain! You need a realistic limit on the amount of time and money that you are comfortably able to spend without breaking your back or the bank. The suggestions provided in the forthcoming posts may make it possible for you to have your fruitcake and eat it, too. 

2) You are a pushover. Not that you don’t enjoy brightening people’s Christmas with nice gifts, but your head is spinning because you lack the gumption to say “no.” Have your children ever gotten the old “if all your friends jumped off a bridge…” response? It’s time to practice what you preach. There is no “minimum gifting” law requiring you to buy a certain number of items for a certain number of recipients with a certain amount of money. Your social status and self-worth are neither secured nor destroyed by what you purchase for whom for how much. Friends, co-workers and relatives will get gads of gifts (no doubt from schmucks who haven’t read this blog), and contrary to what retailers would suggest, your children will survive without receiving any of the items they request. You may encounter some pouting from young and old alike, but this results from your having bought enough junk each year to render both Tommy and Grandma preferred stockholders in Amazon.com. It won’t happen overnight, but your children will come to accept and appreciate whatever type of holiday celebration you provide. By example, you can lead even your peers to turn their Christmas season right side-up because secretly, they too are seeking an “out” clause. Part of you longs for the freedom to enjoy simple family traditions, doing as much or as little as makes you truly happy and leaves you with no regrets come January. So either (A) break the cycle of pandering to peers and pygmies and being bossed about by Big Box stores or (B) continue chasing the shallow, temporal “peace” that comes and goes in the instant after taxing your credit cards and your sanity to the limit.

Aside from materialism, the other cause of holiday anxiety attacks is your own extended family. If one side of yours lives across the country, consider this a blessing at Christmas since you aren’t physically capable of spending quality time in both places – and therefore have a good excuse not to. Most of you probably live within 50 to 200 miles of two sets of in-laws who are both vying for time with you and the grandkids on Christmas day, and who may fully expect you spread yourself paper thin to accommodate them. This dilemma is equally difficult for the overly kind and the pushovers because emotions run high and feelings get hurt in a flash. The best policy (though it requires guts) is to have a heart-to-heart with all relatives well in advance of Christmas. Remind them that many people want you to visit and you are trying to be fair and reasonable in your planning. Gently inform them that guilt-trips are unkind, unwelcome and with any such attempt, that relative will forfeit a visit entirely. (Forgive me for sounding harsh, but I detest manipulative family members.) You know how it feels to cave under those demands until you snap and risk saying things you can’t take back? Comparatively, informing Grandma up front sounds like a walk in the park. Now repeat this to yourself until it sticks: I cannot be everywhere at once, over-scheduling leads to exhaustion, and guilt-trips by family members will not be tolerated.

To get started, you will need the following: self-control, common sense, creativity, a strict budget, some advanced planning, your heart not on your sleeve and your tail not between your legs. Focus on what Christmas should be for your family, setting healthy boundaries to maintain the season’s purity. Think outside the gift box and create your own unique holiday traditions that will evoke envious sighs from those who observe them. Refuse to allow peer pressure and advertising indoctrination to fill you with dread. If you’re ready to make a change, stay tuned! Over the next few weeks, I’ll offer 12 ideas to help jumpstart your own Christmas revolution. Be sure to share your clever ideas so others might be inspired. Let’s reclaim the true peace and joy of Christmas, making it less of a nightmare and more like a Norman Rockwell painting. Simplify and discover that Christmas indeed has a magic all its own.